3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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