There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
