A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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