Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
