I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
