yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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