Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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