My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
