I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
