i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize