Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
