the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Small penises have feelings too.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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