It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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