Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
