Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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