Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
