Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
