More tranny stories later!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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