My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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