There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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