weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
