you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
