They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
