Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
