even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
