i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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