You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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