Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
