Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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