So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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