I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
