is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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