Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so let's talk penis.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
