At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
