Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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