apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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