well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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