Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Buhtt sex?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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