so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
