The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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