census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
