I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The power of my boobs compel you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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