She announced her abortion via fbk
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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