Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
