How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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