WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
