Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
