she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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