do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
