your parents love me but you hate me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
