I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
