you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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