so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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