Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
