you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
