i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't deserve a penis
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
